neocloud101
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Feb 22, 2007, 12:52 PM
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FGF Tribune Issue #2
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Issue #2
What is the Tribune?
The FGF Tribune is an online publication that we’ve put together so that everyone in the FGF community can hear about some of the more interesting goings-on in the forum. We sure as hell don’t want to bore you to death, so if you don’t like what you see, stop reading now. Otherwise, let’s begin.
Writers of this issue:
Skullivan - "I get paid twice your pay for sitting here and doing nothing all day!"
Coolgreencat - "I'll talk to you again in a few to once again interrupt you."
Maelestorm - "I'm just in this for the chicks!"
Moonshadow - "People suck, and that's a fact. I can prove it. Give me a [Expletive Deleted]ing etch and sketch and I can prove it in five minutes. The problem, the answer, just wait, I will show my work too. Case closed."
Real1ty - "I'll have to sacrifice a goat or something for you guys."
(Kat illustrations starting next issue)
Table of Contents:
1. Tribune Logo and FGF Tribune Description.
2. Writers of this issue.
3. Table of Contents
4. Articles
4.. Current Days' FGF Community
4... Random Comments
4.... Why Warcraft Addiction is Better than Posting on FGF
4..... Yahoo smiley face! The face of EVIL!
5. Interviews
5.. The Good and The Bad Compared
5... Rath Roiben Rye vs. Moonshadow
6. Website of the Week
7. Staff positions hiring
8. About the Staff
9. Special Thanks
Articles
Current Days' FGF Community
by Skullivan
These days in the ol' forum are so boring. All we do is complain that we suck. Most of the people worth talking to are gone. What we have left is enough to change the previous picture of FGF. It was once a hippie town. Once a street war. Now it's a boardroom filled with people who have no ideas at all. The door on the other side has a sign super-glued onto it that says, "No Entrance pl0x".
"Oh, calm down. This is what forums are for. Screwing around and spamming. If we didn't have the rights to do that, we'd all be pimply politicians starting boring conversations."
-- Silvera
But what makes the FGF so boring nowadays? Is it the forum software? No, I doubt even if we had never even had to laugh in Gossamer's face, we'd still be in this era. Is it Jammer's lack of working on the forum at the right times? No, he's been out for many long periods of time and at those times we still weren't in are "Dark Days"? So what is it?
It's the community. And I'll show you exactly what we have nowadays.
TazG
Veteran. Currently though, he is another Veteran who just sits around and complains all day. Yessir, he does. Look at the Public Vets Forum. He stays because he knows the community. He doesn't leave because he doesn't believe it's worth it to get to know another community, and doesn't believe in "needing forums". However, he has diagnosed the problem correctly with much backup to support him and he really isn't part of the problem. So I classify him as a boring politician.
Coolgreencat
Enthusiast. Attacked for being part of the problem. He believes that Veterans should be much nicer to everyone to be more liked. Yeah. So uh... Yeah. Green cats didn't seem to be the best candidate in the elections anyway. "Lame" -- Jindrak. I classify him as ...
Jabman
Enthusiast. And possibly one of the most attacked ones. Banned permanently, but back from the little mod-off thing. About the same as CGC, except to a much higher extent. Insulted. Mocked. lol'd. *more harsh words* And stuff. The worst thing he ever did has to be http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/185323432?ltl=1170792002. and like, it's unrightful, not unrightfull. Kk. I classify him as pathetic.
Skanky!
lol.
Athlon XP
Veteranarian. Yes, Athlon, Veteranarian. Right. Well. Sir Melrose here, destined to be another one our great Nazi Mods of General. I say, HELL YES. kk. So um... Wants the FGF to be more like the street war type. I agree. Kk. Classified as Nazi Republican, lol.
Athrin Onu
Veteran. Dr. Funk or whatever the hell he is nowadays. "I'm sad." -- Athrinlol. omg. He's turning EMO. Another of our great Nazi Mods. A bit harsher than other which makes everything rock. Classified as awesome.
Van Jens
Veteran (or is he...?). *sniff* Yeahhh... Oh wait. Kk. Yeah. When I talked to him by PM sometime he seemed to not give a crap about what was going on. That showed a sign of ... yeah. ANYWAY. Pretty mean to Sir Dork in the RuneScape section, I've seen. Yeah. Keep it comin', Jens. Classified as stoner.
LGLS
Veteran. Successor to xBot. Enthusiastic Veteran controller. Erm... Does stuff. Erm... Not part of the problem. Erm... Classified as Not Much to Say.
Moonshadow
Enthusiast. BRING BACK MOONSHADOW. BRING BACK THE EVIL SIDE. RATH ROIBEN RYE CANNOT COMPARE TO THE GREAT EVILNESS THAT IS MOONSHADOW. Classified as Holy Crap.
Routhy
Enthusiast. ... Classified as British Not Much to Say.
Jindrak
Veteran. More sympathetic to Enthusiasts. He has lesser humor than most Veterans, but still wants things done. In this way, a good Veteran. And he likes Daily Show, which brings him up a few more ranks. Classified as K.
Katiuscaa
Veteran. You know what? I haven't seen much of her on the forums recently. That's probably part of the problem. lolk. Classified as Absent Kitten.
Darkdemon
Enthusiast. Doesn't like school. Kinda dumb. If there was a math problem that he couldn't solve he run outta his room screaming, "SCHOOOOOOOL IISSSS UUUUUUUSSSEEELEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I bet he does that a lot. keke. ANYWAY. I haven't seen any original humor on him. And why are we focusing more on Jabman and CGC? Classified as Boring and Annoying.
Juviz
Enthusiast. 'Ello chap. More of a figure on gamelair than here, lol. Kinda weird. Troll, but in a cooler way. STOP BANNING HIM, CANADA. Classified as Kk.
-Xavier-
Veteran times like, what, 4? Doesn't like me for some reason. lol. Apparently part of some CONSPIRACY. omg. Well, that's what Sir Edge said, but Sir Xavier replied, "Listen to me, and listen well. Edge is a liar, and he has problems." Cool. And likes StarCraft. That's a high rank. Classified as Magnificent Teeth.
12bye
Enthusiast. Classified as Just Sorta There.
Flaminballer01
Wait. Who?
Invidious
Vetenthusiast. Change your title, dammit. Koren. Says, "bitch" a LOT. He was like, my hero once I joined the forums, lol. Still is cool. He helped get the Debating Forum running. Classified as Indians ARE Asians, BITCH.
Shimrra
Enthusiast. Also known as funkysk8dude. Umm... Yeah. He's just sorta there. Not part of the solution, but not part of the problem. Classified as Rhapsody Rocks.
Nova/Pheylan
Deleted/Veteran. Awesome, power metal-head, white gangster, and proud. Classified as Just, plain, awesome.
Valiant
Enthusiast. There's a lot I could say here, but I'm not gonna for the hell of it. Anyway, smart-ass, does well in arguments.. Part of the solution, imo. Classified as Wilber Chan lol.
Shinysheep
Enthusiastron. Ah yes, our new and much better than our last anarchist and Vet-attacker. Oh, Lother, did you have to tell him about the experiment? Bastard, lol. Bob Marley may not forgive you. *gasp* Anyway, his last Vet poll was more or less a disaster and yep. Yeah. Classified as FOR THE REPUBLIC or something.
Lother
Veteran. Speaking of Lother, here's our peace-loving hippie now. Gave away our secret, but you can't hate him, really. He's still Lother. Classified as Stoned Hippie (lol redundancy).
-Pwnt-
Enthusiast, but IMO, deserves Veteranship. Awesome. Black. Has a Wii. What more can you want? Classified as I haven't seen you on MSN (or FGF for that matter) in ages, where've you been, Pwnt?
Demosthenes and Shinjoiu
Get back here, bastards.
Real1ty
Enthusiast. Haven't seen him much either. Well, in posts. I have talked to him in MSN a bit. He seems to be leaving through boredom as well.... NOOO. Formerly FGF Tribune Head. But now one of our normal writers. Classified as Crazy-Anarchist.
Wakka
Enthusiast. "wakka wakka wakka. i am pacman." -- Lother. Ah yes, here we go. Back on RuneScape. Kinda-- Strike that. Dumb. Just. Dumb. I've never seen anyone type soooo bad until I saw his posts. See my first article for more info on this guy. This guy never stopped typing so bad until I actually confronted him and got him to type semi-normally. Classified as Wakka really isn't that good. Try maxing out Auron's sphere grid.
Gre Dork
Enthusiast. And how he made Enthusiast without being banned on every forum is beyond me. Seriously, I think this guy could give Wakka a run for his money in stupidity. I really don't know how this guy has any self-esteem left. He's just... soo... dumb. I mean. It's actually quite scary how retarded he is. Classified as Bunny Ears really aren't that cool, sir.
Arkanor
Veteran. Now here's someone who REALLY needs to be back. While here, part of the solution. While gone, part of the problem. Classified as COME BACK, DAMN YOU.
Bleak
Enthusiast. Yeah. Cool as ever. Not part of the problem, of course... So... Classified as Leaving our forum in the brink of darkness sounds pretty bleak.
Peach Pit
Veteran. Ah yes, possibly the greatest graphicker in the forum today. So... Yeah. Classified as Peaches Can't Normally Draw.
Syncth
Enthusiast. If there ever was an award for Most Times Attacked Wakka, this guy would get it. Constantly they battle in the FF forums... *sniff* It's beautiful. Classified as Keep the Fights Coming, sir.
Kasaki
Enthusiast, User etc. Coolest member. Hands down. THE COOLEST MEMBER on FGF. No strings. No add-ons. Just the coolest member on FGF. Classified as SUP GENERIC FGF USERLOL.
Neocloud101 (Skullivan)
Veteran. And me, of course. Nothing I can say about me, 'cept that I gotta get a little meaner and more elitist, lol. Just adding to the list of people. Classified as... Me.
So yeah. Do you see the problem? WE ARE TOO COOPERATIVE AND FUNCTIONAL THAT WE SUCK. WE NEED TO LEARN TO BE DYSFUNCTIONAL ABOUT OUR BELIEFS AND START A REAL SUBJECT FOR THREADS IN GENERAL AROUND HERE. IMO, we need more Syncths and we need more Kasakis around here. One attacking stupidity in the name of intelligence and one acting out stupidity in the name of Internet.
thx
Oh and if I didn't get you on the list, it's probably 'cuz you're not active or you're just not around to care about. Feel FREE to be offensive for either situations.
Skullivan
Random Comments
by Maelestorm
“Well [Expletive Deleted] me in the ass and call me Greek!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Greece
You're a bold rascal. Robin, I like you.
"I like a martini, two at the very most, three I'm under the table, four I'm Oscar Wilde." ~Tranj
"your a fag" ~ Rooster
'heh' ~KLEIN
"If Jesus was still alive, I bet he would eat Frosties." ~Juviz
"Kek Kek Kek ZERG RUSH Kek Kek Kek" ~noobkilla50050505one2461one
"Let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand? Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me typing, or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the [Expletive Deleted] you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that i am working, THAT MEANs you cannot come in. Now, do you think you can handle that?" ~Moonshadow
Welcome to Sweden. Where is your God, now ?
Note that all countries neighbouring Finland are grey.
~ Internet Explorer
“I'm one neutral mother[Expletive Deleted]er, mother[Expletive Deleted]er!”
~ Samuel L. Jackson on Switzerland
“I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on Gay Marriage.
“He's like me, but only more gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sigmund Freud
“Eastern Europe? Now that's [Expletive Deleted]ed up”
~Madman
“If someone who is from Poland is a Pole, that means that someone who lives in Holland is a Hole???”
~ Oscar Wilde on Holland
“Let's give it back to Mexico.”
~ Bush on Texas
“Why the hell do I risk my life everyday for a bunch of insane people?”
~ Spiderman on New York City
Why Warcraft Addiction is Better than Posting on FGF
by Real1ty
This is a Dangerous Addiction
Warcraft destroys families and lives, just like all the best and most fun addictions! Alcohol, crack, heroin and meth are all very fun, and not for the feint of heart. All the cool kids are doing it, didn’t you hear? As fun as they are though, you can get in some trouble for doing all three in public. This is why we have Warcraft! This is the best way to start a self-destructive vicious cycle in full view of all the patrons of the coffee shop!
ooo shiny
Yes, shiny. Shiny and glowy. If you spend your time in the World of Warcraft, you’re going start looking very shiny and glowy and awesome. If you spend your time in FGF, however, you might gain some popularity among the creatures that dwell there, and they might pronounce you to be their veteranarian. So, take your choice- glowy and awesome looking, or dog dookie.
Frog-Alien
If I see somebody green and ugly in Warcraft, I control his mind and make him jump off a cliff. On the other hand, if I go to FGF, there is a disturbing little green man that will always be staring at me from the top of the page. Look at that smile. You can only imagine what he’d be doing to get a look like that on his face…
Post Count
Everybody in the internet, especially Katiuscaa, has a penis. You see, every time you make some sort of accomplishment, or spend more time doing something, your penis (e-penis) grows bigger. In FGF, if you want this to happen, you make a number by your name go up. The bigger the number gets, the bigger your e-penis gets. How do you make this number bigger? By saying things and pushing a button. Not very exciting, is it? In Warcraft, on the other hand, if you want to enlarge your e-penis, you go kill monsters and, get stronger, capture stuff, get rich, and basically be awesome. Getting a big penis is a GOOD thing because, um, because hey, big penis.
Friends
“Want to play Warcraft?”
“[Expletive Deleted] yeah.”
“Hey check out this outrageous post I made on The Internet!”
“Shut the hell up and order me a pizza.”
“You should join this guild and hang out with us”
“Okay, sounds awesome.”
“You should join this forum! It’s called the Free Games Forum! We talk about stuff like Runescape and sometimes Warcraft and think up totally awesome spam for the general forum!”
“Okay, I’m going to put my headphones back on …”
Girlfriends.
LOL! Girls don’t use the internet! But even if they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t come to the cesspit that is FGF. No, girls like things that are pretty, like elves, unicorns and rainbows, and guess what? No elves unicorns or rainbows are in FGF. No, we just have image macros. And the occasional troll.
In conclusion, I was planning on writing a conclusion, but I think I’m going to go back to playing Warcraft instead.
Yahoo smiley face. THE FACE OF EVIL!!!
by Moonshadow
If any of you have ever used the yahoo messenger, you have noticed that it is the first thing you see when you log in. Well, I have some disturbing news. It is evil. More evil than me!
Each time you log on that face pops up. Then you get pop-ups from that son of a bitch messenger. Well, it goes further than that. Later, I have noticed that when you start searching the net, you get more pop-ups! And I have heard from a reliable source that it increases your chance for your intraweb to crash! And for me that's a whole hell of a lot!
Also, whenever someone gets under your name on XP and uses it, they have it to where you auto log on. I don't know about you but that pisses me off. Also, that smiley face is annoying as Hell! Everytime I see him, I want to shoot him in the head. 78 times!
You can be happy as sin. But when you see that face you just want to kill the closest thing to you! It is always there, everywhere you go. On TV! On billboard ad's! Someone kill that damn thing already!
I have also heard from world leading reporter, Billy Bob, that it has taken over 4 major companies and forced them all to work at Yahoo support places. HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!!!!
Damn it. That's all for me. I am going to drink some DP.
Interviews
The Good and the Bad Compared
by Coolgreencat
THE BAD
Gre Dork, We all know the 14 year old Brazilian boy with the grammar knowledge of a pile of nails.
But why? Does he make all these mistakes just to be "Funny"?
When asked, he denied it.
And why does he seem to hate the US so much? In the interview, he refused to tell me why, and said. "I prefer not to discuss about it anymore. But I've said it before."
But I still wanted to know why, so I did some research... and I found nothing specific. And besides...Digging through his posts made me sick so I stopped early.
But, I did find out that there was a 9/11 thing in the 1960's where US cops or something beat up people from Chile or something... He also thinks the government is corrupt. But he gives no real explanations, thus I believe he was taught this.
WHAT DOES HE THINK OF OUR USERS?
He put it simply.
"Mmm... I really hate everybody here but nad and heix. And bleak."
When asked who he would get rid of, he answered TazG. Probably because TazG always shows him up.
Lastly I asked him why he thinks Free game Forums have been sucking for a long time.
He answered.
"The lack of an admin good mods/vets. "
THE GOOD
Now, I interviewed our old friend Nightshiver.
When I asked him what he thought of Gre Dork he came out with.
"not a fan.. and its not because of his butchering of the English language (i understand its not his first language) it's his arrogant attitude that gets under my skin"
When asked about the forum's downfall, he gave an explanation I don't usually hear.
"time.. back when the few positions of authority meant something to the users that came here they tried hard to be 'perfect' in hopes of some day taking up one of those positions.. now the glory of the ranks have diminished.. and with nothing to behave and show off for.. whats there for them to put forth the extra effort for?"
He could not decide who he would want to kick off this forum. He said that it changed from day to day depending on how the people acted.
He originally came here to advertise his website. (www.nightshiver.com)
He still likes these forums and thinks that the good outweighs the bad. When I asked him when he was going to leave, he told me when he just got so busy that he would forget about this place.
He's sad when he sees old friends go, but he wouldn't trade any of his new ones for the old ones back.
As for me, I would like to see him stay longer, and Gre Dork...well.......
Thanks for reading
-- CGC
Rath Roiben Rye vs. Moonshadow
by Rath Roiben Rye
Rath: Hello folks and welcome to the Triple R show. So bad, it was rated RRR by the movie people. And we're not even...
Moonshadow: Please do me a favor and shut up. Your show is rated RRR for three times the retarded.
Rath: ...Jerk. Anyway, I am interviewing Moonshadow Equinix, the evil overlord of the world. I will be asking him a few questions. So Moonshadow, do you mind me asking you questions?
Moonshadow: If I didn't would I be here?
Rath: ...You can't answer my question with another question!
Moonshadow: Too bad, I just did. Get used to it and just ask the damn questions.
Rath: Okay, okay. So, what made you decide to start trying to take over the world?
Moonshadow: Well, one day I woke up and noticed that there was a hole in my favorite pair of pants. Then I was out of toothpaste. I jumped in the shower and the hot water was gone. Then it hit me; this world sucks. I am going to destroy it because I hate it.
Rath: DESTROY IT?!
Moonshadow: Keep your panties on, you little man-whore. After destroying a few buildings, I noticed it was a waste. So, I decided that I would take over the world and shape it in my image.
Rath: Oh, thank God. So, do you have an army?
Moonshadow: Yes, I have the world. If I ask you to join you had better join. Simple as that.
Rath: What happens if they don't join?
Moonshadow: BOOM HEADSHOT! With an RPG of course.
Rath: With a role playing game?
Moonshadow: You're not that bright are you? RPG= Rocket propelled grenade.
Rath: You use weapons? I thought you had magical powers or something.
Moonshadow: I do have powers. But why use them? I can have more fun with huge weapons and I won't get tired.
Rath: So, what is your favorite weapon?
Moonshadow: It is a weapon that I made. It fires 300 rockets per minute.
Rath: Have you ever used it?
Moonshadow: Yes...
Rath: How many people gave you *gulp* killed?
Moonshadow: I lost count when I hit 1337.
Rath: What does your mother think about all this?
Moonshadow: I killed her the morning I got pissed at you all. Listen, I have to go.
Rath: Why? We were just getting started.
Moonshadow: I have places to go and people to kill. Besides, I'm too busy saving your pathetic futures.
Rath: Okay, bye.
Moonshadow punches Rath in the face and leaves.
Website of the Week
It's actually more of a Website of this Issue.
http://www.crapola.com
submitted by Coolgreencat, approved by Skullivan
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIRING FGF Tribune Staff
Ladies and Gentlemen, as you can plainly see by our About the Staff section and our Writers of this issue section, our staff is at a low. Figures. Valiant, Maelestorm, and I WERE the staff when the reunion of the Tribune began. Anyways, the following positions are open to anyone who we believe fit the qualifications:
Writers - No qualification for this. Anyone can write something. PM either Valiant or me to get yourself to be writer.
Graphics - We used the last issue's graphics for this, and it's not so pretty now. Recommended Peach Pit.
And we strongly encourage anyone to write anything for the Tribune as a Contributing Writer. You'll get credit, but unless you become a normal writer for the Tribune, your article will only go in if chosen. If you are a normal writer, your article will be in no matter what (unless it is THAT stupid). I'll be editing, so no crappy articles here. But of the writers I have, I don't believe any of them can write such horrible articles or interviews.
Thank you.
-- Skullivan
About the Staff
All of us at the Tribune staff would like to tell you a little about ourselves!
Neocloud101
Neocloud on himself:
“Some Indian peasant in America with a pure, American attitude. Hates gangsters, wannabe gangsters, and wannabe wannabe gangsters. Loves to insult you all. Impersonates Hackers (Sorry Taz). Makes fun of retards. (Sorry, too hard not to make fun of them.) Will only try for vet when post count turns to 1337. Then they have to vote for me. They'll know I'm elite.
Wait...”
Real1ty on Neocloud101:
“Indian jokes aside, he… he writes satirical gossip, about people, and… erm… oh **** it. He works at Dell tech support, likes curry and rice, and owns us all at standardized tests.”
Real1ty
Real1ty on himself:
“Grew up in a trailer in the wonderful state of Alabama. During his childhood, he was fed a steady diet of alcohol, moon pies, and french fries. After that, he went on to Juliard, to major in music, until, in a freak smelting accident, he lost his wonderful ability to play the violin and have children. At the same time. This threw him into a deep depression after which, he threw down his earthly belongings and became a street bum! Real1ty can now be found on your local street corner, playing violin very poorly, shaking a cup full of pennies and nickels, and holding up a sign, which says "W1ll W0r|< pH0r PhR33 s700f!!!11" Luckily, he was able to hide in the bathroom of his local library till closing time, and log on a computer to provide you with this week's content!”
Skullivan on Real1ty:
"Y'know... Before I knew Real1ty, I never thought redneck trailer-trash from Alabama could type or speak well enough to actually connect words together to equal sentences, but boy-oh, he changed my aspect on them rednecks!"
Coolgreencat
Skullivan on Coolgreencat:
"Our neighborly abused green cat with shades. This green crack-- I mean cat is actually very fond of foruming and internets. However, I myself am surprised that his paws can actually let him press anything other than the space bar."
Maelestorm
Skullivan on Maelestorm:
"This Jewish Emo is of the satirical Jewish Emo nature.... And stuff. To make an impossibly long story short, he's a Jew."
Valiant
Skullivan on Valiant:
"This is our own Mr. Ling of the Tribune. He's Chinese, so his name was made at the drop of a steel fork and a coin. His first name is still unable to be pronounced by any human being."
Katiuscaa
Katiuscaa on herself:
“Drug FREEeeeeehehehehe”
Real1ty on Katiuscaa:
“Rumor has it that she actually is a cat, which would explain her nickname “Kat,” and sympathies that always side with cats. I’m not sure about this, though. It’s quite possible that she is a baby monkey or hamster as well.”
Contributing Writers:
"Moonshadow/Rath Roiben Rye" -- The psycho vs. the freak, evil vs. good, bitch vs. bastard, Moonshadow the Texan Maniac, director of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and owns us all at life.
Special Thanks
General Mods - For (hopefully) stickying this.
Contributing Writers - For helping me
Valiant - for bringing back the Tribune
Real1ty - for being okay with the new management takeover
Maelestorm - For uh... Yeah..
Jammer - For making FGF. Wait. That's a thank you thing?
BY THE WAY:
ARCHIVES!
^^^^^^^^^^^^
GRAND OPENING
Well, folks, that was fun. I can't believe I actually managed a whole issue.
It was annoying.
Anyway, I dunno when the next one will be published, but judging by my staff's procrastination battles, check during Summer Vacation for The FGF Tribune: Issue #3! Kidding. We're gonna try to get this in by next week or the week after the next. Two weeks should be more than enough. Especially since this one was done in about 4 or 5 days.
-- Skullivan
"If you are a hero, you must be wearing clothes.
This is the new rule."
-- Jindrak
(This post was edited by neocloud101 on Feb 22, 2007, 12:56 PM)
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