• Shaved ham from your local deli/supermarket
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• Cheese, preferably American (or Swiss if you're a pussy)
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• Italian Dressing better than the sh*t shown in this pic:

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• Romaine lettuce
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• Sliced Cucumber
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• Bread (kind doesn't matter, nobody cares)
  
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1. Lightly toast 2 bread slices so you don't have a f*cking limp sandwich.
2. Take some Italian dressing and put a light amount over the entire bottom bread slice. The slice should NOT be soaked with the stuff, use your judgement.
3. Put your ham on top of the slice. Meat should ALWAYS be on the bottom of a sandwich, NO EXCEPTIONS. Anyone who does this differently sucks at life. Don't put too much meat, 3/4 of an inch height-wise MAX.
   
4. Put a slice of cheese on top of the meat, making sure that all of the meat is covered with a layer of cheese. 2 slices thick MAX. Too much cheese detracts from the flavor of the meat and everything else, so you don't want too much. Especially American cheese, which probably causes cancer.
5. A thin layer of mustard on top of the cheese is permissible. But it must be THIN, like, a squirt spread over the entire surface. Too much mustard = bad.
6. Finally comes the layer of lettuce. Personally, I put a lot of lettuce on mine because it tastes good and is good for you. 1-2 leaves of Romaine lettuce is good.
7. Put the top bun on, and if you want, put a bit of Italian on that too.

1. Grab some chips of your preference
2. Get some watermelon because it's f*cking good
3. Get something to drink
   

"In the words of every extreme sports fanatic, it looks fun, you go first."
-Penn Gillette